It's hot and muggy. I feel irritable.
Eric is looking at a heavy Fall travel schedule. I feel emotional loneliness ready to set in.
My clothes are too tight or not fitting quite right. I feel fat and unattractive.
My car episode is over but Eric's co-worker teased me about it today. I feel stupid.
The internet was down for over four hours. I feel annoyed.
We sat at dinner and I said nothing.
"What's up, Cranky McSpanky?" Eric asked.
I glared. I huffed. I might have even rolled my eyes.
Then I picked up my half eaten plate of food, tossed it in the sink, and walked away from the table.
"Amy?" Eric sounded concerned. "What's going on?"
I lost it.
"I'm tired of feeling like you are always leaving!" I hollered and slammed the door to the garage.
I was angry. Mad. Hurt.
Eric waited a few minutes and then got me to come back in the house. He reminded me of all of the logic that went behind the situation and the reasons we do the things we do. Nothing he said was new to me but nothing he said made me FEEL better. Finally, he gave up.
"I think you just want to throw a fit, Amy Lynn," he announced, leaving me to my own misery.
As if just given permission, I threw it. I yelled and stomped and pouted and possibly knocked over a small table stacked with magazines and such. Oh yes, I was crying and boo hooing about my unhappy life (which quite frankly, is NOT unhappy) and I made an academy award scene that my husband missed!
When I slowed down enough to realize Eric wasn't even downstairs anymore, I stormed into our room to blast him for not even bothering to care enough to stick around for my tantrum. I stopped short when I noticed the spanking chair moved to the center of the room and a flat wooden cheese board perched across the seat.
Eric sat in bed, reading his new John Grisham book and waiting patiently.
Pants down, over his knee, a stern hand spanking quickly turned into a sound paddling.
A few minutes in the corner and I ended up having a really good cry in Eric's arms.
The long trips are coming and it's hard to transition when we've been able to enjoy some solid time together.
Obviously, I'm still not over it and I may never be. However, tonight, I was reminded that...
Sigh. Much of my prior feelings have gone but I'm still feeling that paddle.